Little Black Dress Moments - Wednesday 'Real' Read

Today Amanda shares her 'life bumped me' moment. Check it out - it is an issue that affects as all - our self talk based on what others say! We all have lived this one. Be simply encouraged.

Self Talk, what a scary thought! The words go off like an alarm, don’t want to go there - nope!

The scary part is that when you get up the courage to take a little peek into your own self talk you have to be honest and put ‘You’ all out on the table: flaws, constant changing moods, struggles, wins, how you feel about your physical looks, your performance as either/or a wife, mother, daughter, sister, or in your career, role, and on.... Self talk = all of me!

So what do I really say about all of me?

Ok..., to be honest it’s something I am working on! Yep I should be nice to me, and lovely, and I should know that I am beautiful for who I am. I should be praying and remembering God’s words during the good and certainly during the struggles... shouldn’t I....??? But yeah, those ‘shoulds’ can all go out the window with that thing called logic, (I am still trying to call it back I think?)

Why? 

Because my ‘sneak peek’ revealed that a major contributor to some of my “self talk” seems to come from what others say. Not the best realization; but true none the less.

On a day I am feeling appreciated by others I am great, it’s like “you go girl, you will be fine!” but then there are the other days... Like the other night when I walked out of the bedroom to show my husband what I was wearing out and thinking “wow, I’m looking really hot tonight!” and he said “You're not wearing that are you? - It really doesn’t do anything for you! (Ahhh little ‘black dress’ moments!)

It’s in these moments we can go from feeling great, to one second later feeling like we are useless, we can’t put an outfit together, we can’t do anything right, don’t even mention the body...well if only!

If only I didn’t have the love handles there or I was taller/shorter or weighed a little less. If only I was smarter, had more time, more money, that promotion, looked like her. If only = all of me!!!

Wow, I sound crazy! But you know what I’m talking about.

We know that it should not matter what people say about us and we know that we should not base our self-esteem on what others say, the good (that’s really nice) and the bad, because people can’t be perfect for us. Yet, it does matter...

As hard as we try not to let it, our self talk is influence by the comments of others. So what can we do? It all comes down to reminding myself who I am in God’s eyes and not theirs – and God’s comment is Love.

God loves us just as we are. He created us enough in Him and that includes all our ‘if only’ and ‘shoulds’.

It’s Him I have to come back to.

To say this is easy is a lie, and it’s something I’ve found I have to work on every day, it does not come naturally, but if we keep going, we get better.

“Self talk”? , It’s not really that scary anymore because I’m placing it on the table of ‘I am learning’. Learning to come back to God and what His love means, learning to keep moving forward even when those self doubts caused by me or from others pipe up, and learning to get back up when I am down. We are progressing, and we are not giving up.

Ta Amandaxx

- Amanda Goebel is a soon to be mum with her first bubby on the way. She and hubby Josh can't wait for this new chapter in their life. We will let you know all the details when bub arrives.

Why me?

So I am having one of those days, where I catch myself in the mirror while getting dressed for a second too long.  Of course I notice the things about my body that I just can’t stand (groan) – don’t ya just hate that moment. 
It is the moment that catches you off guard and you find yourself cringing at life’s little treats.  Here I am looking at those  stretch marks on my stretch marks ( 2 babies has totally ruined my bikini body :(  ), then a bit of  depression, some sorrow and wishing it was not so consumes me for a minute. ‘Why me’ is all I think.


Let’s face it we all have ‘why me’ moments. Why me moments can last for a brief second, to others that are long seasons, and then there’s everything in between. If we are real, we know that they do range from our physical looks to crazy everyday circumstances, to life’s big heartbreaking and challenging times.  
The fact is, as women, we really care about what we look like, what we are doing in life and we all face the unexpected. 
Why me is a valid question because we all want our life to be great, we all want to look hot, and we all want to succeed.


I absolutely believe that as women we are born for such a time as this (heard that before??).  The saying comes from the book of Esther in the Bible. 
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Esther+1&version=AMP


It is encouraging because it champions us to rise up and becoming visible in our life and time, to be the difference for others. 
The problem is: how do we do this while facing our physical imperfections, our struggles, our circumstances, our heartbreaks?  How are we meant to be visible when we feel like shrinking away? 


TRUTH MOMENT: We have to chose to let our ‘why me’ moments become our ‘yes me’ moments.


This crazy world needs people to be visible. We are here to do/ give/help/change/be an answer for others through our love of God.  If we listen and give into our why me’s, (and we all have them, even that perfect, no cellulite girl over there ;) ), then we just won’t do anything - our dream/passion/goals - no matter our intent. We have to be visible through and with our why me moment by changing our thinking to yes me =  Yes me and my imperfections, yes me in my mistakes, yes me in my heartbreak. Yes me! Yes me gives us a reason and power to act. Yes me grabs our intent and makes it become real.


Esther came to this realization, lived it and now encourages us to do the same.
Now personally, I do have a love/hate relationship with this girl :). I mean she was obviously hot, crowned a queen and had every resource she could ever want at her finger tips. It’s not like she had a why me moment = wrong! 
Pause and think a minute on where she came from, how she had to change, who she had to stand against, how she had to face death, the real risks for being a women in her day.  


Just like our world today, her's was not easy either. Yet she chose to be a yes girl! She got up and acted and was the difference to others. She risked being visible, her status, looking and sounding silly, oh just her life, and yet because she did she ended up changing history and making a difference to a lot of people.


You are really born for such a time as this. Our time is real, our time is to be a yes me girl. Yes me today!


Thought:


What ‘intent’ (dream) do you hold in your heart that you wish you could do?


What is the first thing or one thing you can do today as a ‘yes me’ girl to start on this road to living your dream? 


If you are on your way and/or living your dream who can you help reach for there dream?


Who can you share this with that will encourage you in your dream and stepping into action?


If you are really hurting in your circumstances who can you talk to and ask to help you threw this season?

Share with us, your thoughts, your dream...


Tiara in above picture we found at: http://www.sassyweddings.co.uk/

Invisible?

The other night I was watching Master Chef (the TV show where contestants compete by cooking amazing meals to win the show‘s title - it so makes my dinner time look sad ;)).  Anyway, one of the female contestants had an embarrassing mishap with an ingredient right in front of the judges, other contestants, and let's not forget just the whole of Australia.  
She shook her head and simply stated “I am not invisible now.”

Wow, what a statement. I mean really (and be honest) haven’t we all felt invisible at times? 
For some of us maybe you have always felt this way. Invisible to the big old world, invisible to the success of others, invisible to those you value most or want value from, even invisible to you.

I soooo have.

Then, what’s  worse is when you make a mistake, or things don’t go to plan, or you just have an embarrassing mishap suddenly you’re ‘visible’ for all the wrong reason. You’re left feeling silly, or angry, looked over, disappointed and shamed (oh pass me the chocolate now and I mean the whole block). You can even feel and start to believe that those standout moments of weakness are what define you.


Sometimes it is easy to be invisible too. Easy to not have to make tough decisions, easy to not take responsibility for where you are personally at, easy to not have to worry about what others may think if you were to step out, easy to leave it to others to be the ones that make a difference - cause their the mistake free, perfect, standouts right !!!

Truth Moment: If you don’t become visible no matter the cost, then who will make a difference in your own life, in your world = no one.

Only you can make you visible. Only you can find you.


It is time to get visible that means you, you, you.

Sure it’s a risk and there are going to be mistakes made, maybe some embarrassing mishaps, feeling uncomfortable, and feeling ‘out there’ with the spotlight on (sunglasses anyone?). But if you keep stepping out ‘visible’ you are also going to learn how to get it right, become comfortable, and feel really happy that you are doing what you knew was always in you.  
You will achieve the ultimate dazzling goal of making a difference for you and in others.


So this June we are all shedding invisibility and living visible. (Shameless dance around the room time - now that's visible!;))

Time to:

Look around your life, what needs you to be 'visible' (or more visible), who needs you to be visible, where can you step out, up and in?

1) Is it time to change some old thinking and look in the mirror and become visible to your self-esteem and your value? Those past failures or mistakes don’t define you - so throw them off NOW!

2) Do you need to become visible to a dream, goal or passion and step out and learn, achieve, do and most important BE?

3) Are there people around you who need you to be more visible to make a difference for them - to make them more visible: Your children, your hubby, friends, those without friends, those in desperate need, and those in other nations, …………..?   

4) What organization, church, charity needs you to be visible and join them in making a difference to others? (We know your busy but what could you do? :))
             
 Get Inspired:

Read Proverbs 31:10 -, from the Bible http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=AMP 
This is a passage about a woman who stands out. She is visible. This is because she has chosen to stand confident in who she is and she stands confident in what she does (in her day to day society and particular lifetime) – she is seen being actively visible.  
She is not about being the perfect women or the most incredible and gifted (She sooo would have needed chocolate too). She is here to inspire you to be the best YOU.  Touch YOUR world with visible YOU.

 Everyone share:

Tell us what you are doing or going to do to be visible?