How to make friends!

We love friendships and doing life with other people but sometimes it can be tricky making new friends and we can feel a little lost at how to go about it. Below Amanda shares with us how to be a great friend and get the friendship 'ball rolling'.

Friendship from the start.... it doesn’t matter what age, gender or type of person you are, we all need friendships and we all need advise at times in how to make friends and how to keep them.

I personally had an advantage growing up that forced me to make friends. Approx every year my family moved to a new house, meaning I had to change schools constantly. It can be so difficult being in a new place with no friends and having to figure out how to make them as the new girl!!!
Growing up like this I learnt that I simply had to be the one who would go up to people and talk! BUT, that seems to be where it can stop.... u meet them, u introduce yourself to them and start a conversation...but how do we go from the ‘initial introduction’ to a friendship?

When making friends there is always that bit of nervousness. You’re wondering if they want to get to know you also, if they think you are weird, or if they are wishing you would leave them alone...and how often do we finish our introduction, or second, or third meeting, with “we should have a coffee sometime!”

Now how many of you have had that offer...or made that offer....and NEVER organised something??? Yep!! My hand is up!!!
One of the keys to friendship is following through on our ‘sometime’ moments - from both ends.

We invite people to “coffee”, we get invited to “coffee” and we need to make an effort to go through with it. 

When you get an invite I have learnt that you need to organise something then!! Not say “yeah that will be great sometime” but “yes, I am free fri...when suits you?”

Sure sitting down together might be awkward at first and those silences where you don’t know what to say are uncomfortable, but it’s the same for everyone starting out.

Here are some tips that can help get the ball rolling:

1) Ask appropriate questions about the other’s life i.e. Do you work? Do you enjoy your work? How long have you lived in this area? Are you married? Do your children do sport or dance, Have you seen any movies lately? If there is an awkward pause simply ask another question. Don’t interrogate though – not what we are going for!!! lol

2) Really listen to what they share.

3) Simply encourage, care, and compliment the other person in their life and experiences.

4) Organize another "coffee". - Keep building the friendship.

You’ll soon find familiar ground and a friendship blooming.

CHALLANGE.
So, I make you this challenge, and yes I am setting it for myself also!

In the next fortnight, I want you to invite someone for coffee (someone you haven’t yet established a close friendship with). Then follow through and organise it too!

Don’t let the usual “sometime when we are less busy” excuses get you: make time, and this fortnight!
Also, if you are invited by someone you too want to get to know, don’t just say ok, organise a day and time in the next fortnight!

I would love to hear about how people go with it, so share with us your experience in the comment box at Fradaz.
I am hoping out of this challenge many of us will meet a new friend or finally get to know that friend we were meant to 6 months ago!!!

Amanda. xx

To Tattoo or Not?

Ever seriously contemplated if you should get a tattoo? - What about a fleeting thought of: what it would be like or what you would have?
 Katherine, who designs tattoos, shares with us just what it is about this 'skin art' that is so very trendy, and if your brave enough to bare your flesh - what to do.

Tattoos can be 'taboo' to many, and to others an exciting ' always wanted one' subject. 
This 'skin art' form is becoming more and more popular: business men, house wives and even the younger generation seem to be popping up with them.

There are so many different types of tattoos: plain black and white, color, grey or even a UV tattoo.


Tattoos are all about expression, an express of you,  and thats why I love them. I don’t have one yet, but  I have already designed and picked two tattoos that I want to get…so far.

My Sister got her first tattoo on her trip to America. 
It is Kanji (Japanese text) that means Small Branch. When I asked her why she got it, she replied ever so wisely; “Small Branch comes from John 15, "I am the vine and you are the branches, remain in me" The 'Small part' is to remind me that I am a small part of a bigger picture.” 
Her tattoo is really tasteful and sits on top of her foot. 
These, day tattoos are not all about great big pieces that cover your whole body but rather tasteful pictures, symbols, and text.


Tattoos not only serve as art, but also as reminders. For the majority of people who have tattoos, it’s a sometimes painful, but pleasant memory of a chapter in their lives.  

In getting one and baring my flesh, I have to admit, I’ve thought and thought about the consequences, “what if I don’t like it?” “What will it look like when I get older?” - we all think these thoughts, so here are my 'I'm getting a tattoo tips:

1. Choose your tattoo. If you can’t find a specific design you want, All you need now is an arty friend, who can draw one for you, or you can go into the tattoo parlor and most will design one for you.


2. Research is the key! First mistake in tattoo’s is not researching! I’m very adamant about this because no one wants to end up with something they regret. If you are getting script make sure you have the spelling right and if it is in a different language make sure you get someone who actually speaks that language to make sure it means what it means.
 
3. Here is an important thing, PLACING! A fun experiment is to get some fake tattoos and place them where you think you want your real one.
 
4. More Research, this time research Tattoo parlors. Look around on the internet, go visit the shop and talk to your tattooed friends about where they got their’s done. You will never get a hundred percent great feedback on one place, but all you need to do is ask why? 

5. Last but MOST IMPORTANT! Don’t be hasty! My number one rule for tattoos is I have to have a picture of the tattoo and put it somewhere i can see it everyday and if I still like it after six to eight months, then I will get it. Try that and see, if after six months you don’t like it, throw it away, and if your sure, then make an appointment and go for it!

I guess in the end its all about personal preference, which is Aok! 


Your body is a temple, but how long can you live in the same house before you redecorate? -- Author Unknown

Baby Steps to Better Health

Sandy our nutritionist shares how easy it is to move in the right direction to having great health - the body you want. Take a step with Sandy:

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Confucius

We’re all on our own journey to having better health (eating well and moving more) – whether it’s as simple as eating less chocolate (sigh!), or running for thirty minutes or even in a 10km fun run.

The problem is that sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. How do I lose all those kilos? How do I run when even walking around the block can sometimes be a struggle? (phew!)

You just need to know where to START. And the good news is that starting begins with something very small: a single STEP.

“But something small isn’t going to make any difference!” I hear you say. “Not when my favourite form of physical activity is walking up and down the confectionery aisle in the supermarket…” ;)

The key here is doing something small over time. That means making one small change, and repeating it every day, and every day after that. Have a look at the facts:

- Eating one less 50g chocolate bar a week equals around  4,500kJ saved a month – resulting in weight loss of 1.5 kg in a year!

- Simply switching to reduced fat milk from full cream (2 glasses a day) can help you lose two kg in a year!

- Walking for fifteen minutes extra a day adds up to almost 7,000kJ burnt per month, or loss of over two kg of excess fat a year!

Can you make any (or all) of the above small changes, or baby steps? Sure you can! And I bet you can think of several others – especially if you’ve been completing a food and exercise diary, as recommended in my previous post: (http://fradaz.blogspot.com/2010/06/first-steps-to-healthier-more-visible.html ).

So join today with all of us Fradaz girls in beginning your own baby steps to feeling better and moving more. All you’ve gotta do is START. :)    

© Sandra Peut 2010   

Sandra Peut keeps busy juggling her varied roles as a wife, mother (to four children aged 6 and under!), nutritionist and health promotion officer in women's health, and writer. Blue Freedom, a romantic thriller and her first novel, is due to be published by Rose and Crown Books later this year.

For more info, visit http://www.sandrapeut.com/

Her first romantic thriller Blue Freedom                                                                

Going Nude!

How good are shoes = goooood!!! 

I love how shoes can take an outfit and simply make it! Why do a pair of shoes make us women feel beautiful? – Who knows but they do, so coming into Spring look out for a pair of ‘nude’ colored shoes.

Nude shoes are in. They are sophisticated, not over the top, and classy.

Heels, wedge, strappy, flats - they come in all styles.

Why wear:

- They lengthen your leg.

- They take a dark outfit and lighten  

  the look which is great as you 

  transition from colder months to 

  warmer weather wardrobe.

- They are sexy summery goodness.

Tips on how to wear:

1) Look for really plain ones and avoid HUGE buckles and embellishment on the toe area.

2) Shinny finish will allow the shoe to stand out more than matte finish but the choice is yours.

3) Look for a color that is slightly darker than your skin tone as you don’t want them disappearing into your leg.

4) Try one with a heel to make your legs appear really long.

5) If you’re not sure what color outfits to pair them with start with with dark denim, dark or strong colors i.e. green, red, blue, pinks, black. They also go really well white and with a bit of beige/nude.

6) In summer pair them with lighter denim and or pastel colors for a light and fresh summer look.

7) Yes you can wear them with flowery patterns.

8) Don’t wear all beige with nude shoes, make sure you add a block color to break up the beige – too much beige is not a good thing.

Have fun with Nude shoes. - Go Nude!

Elizabeth xx

Do share with us: Why do you love shoes???

I need motivation, so i'm getting comfortable!!!!!!?

Why is it that a change in season can inspire us to 'start'???

Mostly my starts come in the form of get up and start again... do, do, do all those things I know I should. You know: exercise, build my friendships, do that project, eat better, spend more time with the kids, quit going to bed late, get a tan...and on and on...

With Spring nearly here in Aus, I can feel my excitement and motivation rise. I’m going to do it this time!!! ...of course I am!!!...

So, start, start, start...easy, yep, I’m motivated and eager, if only spring would get here...

               ...Yet there is one problem:

                 Once I start, how do I maintain that start?!!!! 

Arrrrgh it’s not fair, because trailing right behind and all to quickly catching up is ‘effort’ and ‘tired’, ‘what’s the point’, ‘I feel silly’, it’s just too hard’, and even ‘bad attitude’ – it’s the unmotivated gang. 

It’s not fair (again), why do they have to come with my starts??? (Arms crossed.) And, to be fair, I want to fit in with them (talk about peer pressure lol).

Truth Moment: It’s not about the awesome start and it’s not about the unmotivated gang, it’s about the result - seen or unseen.

So I've got to switch gangs, and I’m joining the comfortable gang.

You see, I’m learning that if we want to have and do the things in life that we really want, then we have to get comfortable with really focusing on what we are achieving and its result in our life.

I have to get comfortable that there is going to be times of great energy and excitement and times of feeling unmotivated (in my case it's intense unmotivated).

I need to get comfortable with the fact that achieving takes time, far more then I’m willing to accept and continue to give yet I must keep going, that's how it is.  

I need to get comfortable that some results are unseen, unnoticeable, particularly at first, yet what I am doing is still of great benefit to my life.

How much of our day comes down to choice? – most of it! It’s a choice to achieve, a choice to ignore my 'unmotivated', a choice to get up and start with or without energy and excitement.

So right now get comfortable!!! 

No matter the season,

               it really is time to knuckle down and get comfortable – who knew!

Time to share: What is your particular 'start'? - What you want to achieve?