How to make friends!

We love friendships and doing life with other people but sometimes it can be tricky making new friends and we can feel a little lost at how to go about it. Below Amanda shares with us how to be a great friend and get the friendship 'ball rolling'.

Friendship from the start.... it doesn’t matter what age, gender or type of person you are, we all need friendships and we all need advise at times in how to make friends and how to keep them.

I personally had an advantage growing up that forced me to make friends. Approx every year my family moved to a new house, meaning I had to change schools constantly. It can be so difficult being in a new place with no friends and having to figure out how to make them as the new girl!!!
Growing up like this I learnt that I simply had to be the one who would go up to people and talk! BUT, that seems to be where it can stop.... u meet them, u introduce yourself to them and start a conversation...but how do we go from the ‘initial introduction’ to a friendship?

When making friends there is always that bit of nervousness. You’re wondering if they want to get to know you also, if they think you are weird, or if they are wishing you would leave them alone...and how often do we finish our introduction, or second, or third meeting, with “we should have a coffee sometime!”

Now how many of you have had that offer...or made that offer....and NEVER organised something??? Yep!! My hand is up!!!
One of the keys to friendship is following through on our ‘sometime’ moments - from both ends.

We invite people to “coffee”, we get invited to “coffee” and we need to make an effort to go through with it. 

When you get an invite I have learnt that you need to organise something then!! Not say “yeah that will be great sometime” but “yes, I am free fri...when suits you?”

Sure sitting down together might be awkward at first and those silences where you don’t know what to say are uncomfortable, but it’s the same for everyone starting out.

Here are some tips that can help get the ball rolling:

1) Ask appropriate questions about the other’s life i.e. Do you work? Do you enjoy your work? How long have you lived in this area? Are you married? Do your children do sport or dance, Have you seen any movies lately? If there is an awkward pause simply ask another question. Don’t interrogate though – not what we are going for!!! lol

2) Really listen to what they share.

3) Simply encourage, care, and compliment the other person in their life and experiences.

4) Organize another "coffee". - Keep building the friendship.

You’ll soon find familiar ground and a friendship blooming.

CHALLANGE.
So, I make you this challenge, and yes I am setting it for myself also!

In the next fortnight, I want you to invite someone for coffee (someone you haven’t yet established a close friendship with). Then follow through and organise it too!

Don’t let the usual “sometime when we are less busy” excuses get you: make time, and this fortnight!
Also, if you are invited by someone you too want to get to know, don’t just say ok, organise a day and time in the next fortnight!

I would love to hear about how people go with it, so share with us your experience in the comment box at Fradaz.
I am hoping out of this challenge many of us will meet a new friend or finally get to know that friend we were meant to 6 months ago!!!

Amanda. xx